14
“the chi pervades the universe and all living things”
the morning after their conversation, mander tung called the conscripts out to the parade grounds arranging them in a circle around him, he moved in a series of slow, intricate motions as he moved, he spoke the conscripts watched, mesmerized by the way the mander’s body seemed to be one with his weapon his sword became an extension of his arm; his legs, like roots of a tree, were firmly planted on the ground until they lifted and appeared to bee light as feathers he signaled to them, and mulan and the others began to mirror his moves
“we are all born with it,” mander tung continued “but only the most dedicated will connect deeply to his chi and bee a great warrior”
mulan focused, her body moving of its own accord she heard the mander’s voice roll over her like the water of the lake, with the same soothing effect “tranquil as a forest,” he said “but on fire within”
swinging her arm though the air, mulan practiced the simple movements over and over again she trained through the afternoon and then later, as she stood guard when her shift was over, she made her way back to the lake, where she practiced under the light of the moon with every swish of her sword, she felt her chi grow stronger it blossomed, like the leaves on the magnolia tree by the lake’s shore the sensation was empowering and strange, like something wholly new but also oddly familiar
over the days that followed, the conscripts’ training intensified it was a subtle shift at first a few more minutes tacked onto the end of each session a bit more bark—and bite—from sergeant qiang as he shouted orders tensions rose as it became clear that they were no longer practicing for a possible battle but for an actual one
“the rouran enemy is vast,” sergeant qiang warned as mulan and the others went through a series of martial arts movements “they’re ruthless and unpredictable yet physical force need not be met with equal force the warrior yields to force—and redirects it” he stopped in front of mulan she kept her gaze ahead, not allowing him to intimidate her
ever since she and mander tung had spoken, mulan had been able to think of nothing but her chi it consumed her fueled her drove her every moment she could spare, she spent trying to focus it the mander’s words had been like a spark she’d realized, in the moments after they talked, that she owed it to her father to be the best warrior she could be if she didn’t try for that, then everything she had done would be in vain so, night after night, day after day, she practiced and night after night, day after day, she grew stronger
under the moonlight, beside the lake, she moved her body through maneuvers that now felt natural in her head, she heard sergeant qiang’s words disadvantage can be turned to advantage, he would tell the soldiers as they pressed their swords forward, swished their spears through the air, lifted their shields in defense
her constant practice and intense focus did not go unnoticed she felt mander tung’s and sergeant qiang’s eyes on her more than on the others but it no longer made her shrink inward she felt fueled with courage and a strength she hadn’t known she had
but there was still one challenge that stymied her
“four ounces can move a thousand pounds,” the sergeant said as mulan and the others approached the steep steps that led to the shrine they all paused, their eyes lifting in unison to the challenge in front of them on either side of mulan was a bucket filled to the brim with water above her, other soldiers grabbed their own buckets and struggled up the steps mulan waited sergeant qiang’s words echoed in her head “four ounces can move a thousand pounds,” she whispered to herself closing her eyes, she focused she felt the now familiar surge of energy wash through her as she connected to her chi the grunts and groans from the other men vanished she felt only the gentle breeze on her cheeks her eyes still closed, she envisioned the top of the shrine she remembered the peace she’d felt beneath the magnolia tree channeling that, she opened her eyes
bending down, she grasped the handles of the buckets and lifted them they felt lighter than they had the first few times she had faced this challenge, thanks to her strength training but she knew that the challenge was not in the first steps, but in the endurance one must have to make it all the way to the top step by step, she climbed
ahead of her, the other conscripts’ steps slowed one by one, they began to fall first cricket, his face wet with tears, sank to the steps then po, who threw his buckets aside and simply lay down, defeated yao was the next to fail filled with rage, he threw his buckets, the wood shattering against the rocky cliffs
still, mulan continued her steps were steady, her shoulders still on either side of her the water in the buckets did not splash over the sides, but instead remained calm she grew stronger with each step the focus on her face never faltered, even as she moved past her fallen rades
soon the only other conscript left was honghui a few steps ahead of her, his forehead was beaded with sweat and his buckets were sinking closer and closer to the ground his steps were heavy and his breathing ragged like mulan, his face was focused, but doubt was beginning to creep in
mulan didn’t notice any of that she kept moving step by step, higher and higher, gathering strength until she caught up to honghui—and then passed him she felt his gaze on her back as she continued she ignored it she was somewhere else her body was on the stairs, her arms holding the buckets, but her mind was in a deeper place she was fueled by thoughts of her father, her mother, her sister even thoughts of the phoenix, who was inextricably connected to her and who had found a strength of her own
behind her, honghui’s body gave out he sank to the steps now, it was only mulan left as honghui, mander tung, sergeant qiang, and all the others watched, mulan kept climbing step by step, higher and higher, until
she reached the top
for a long moment, mulan stood, her chest rising and falling evenly she turned around, her eyes growing wide as she took in the breathtaking view from the top of the shrine her eyes paused as she spotted the phoenix perched on a nearby statue spreading her feathers wide, the phoenix called out in triumph
pride flooded through mulan she had done it she had done what no man had been able to she, mulan, a girl from a small village, had made the impossible possible she turned back to look at the soldiers gathered below only then, as she saw the looks of wonder, awe, and amazement on their faces, did she allow herself a smile
mander tung’s thoughts swirled in his head hua jun had done it he had conquered the shrine in all his years training soldiers, he had only seen a handful of men acplish the task and none of them had done so with the grace and focus hua jun had demonstrated turning away from the shrine, the mander walked toward his tent sergeant qiang fell into step beside him
“hua jun is a true leader,” the sergeant observed he, too, had been impressed by the soldier’s success
mander tung nodded “yes he has the same spirit as his father—a warrior” he paused, his face thoughtful “but i sense something still holds him back”
“perhaps in time he’ll overe the obstacle,” sergeant qiang said after a moment
the mander’s steps stopped, and he turned to look at his second-in-mand “we’re out of time,” he said “the enemy advances we deploy at first light”
he didn’t need to say more with a nod, sergeant qiang turned and ordered the soldiers to the parade grounds despite their exhaustion, the men jumped to attention and made their way over as fast as their tired legs could take them mulan arrived last, having had to climb down from the shrine
when all the conscripts were gathered, mander tung took his place in front of them “our training is not finished,” he said “but we live during a time of war therefore, we shift with changing winds” he paused to make sure he had everyone’s attention satisfied the men were listening, he went on “we leave to defend the mountain steppe garrison”
the response was swift surprise, fear, and excitement spread through the men whispers and murmurs rose over them like a wave this was what they had been waiting for—and dreading from her spot at the back of the crowd, mulan felt her cheeks grow pale the energy and strength she had only just been feeling faded it was one thing to acplish a training task it was an entirely different thing to face actual battle
mander tung lifted a hand the men grew silent once more “you will now take the oath of the warrior, pledging fidelity to the three pillars of virtue” the mander pulled out his sword mulan’s eyes widened as she realized it was identical to her father’s sensing her eyes on him, mander tung looked over and nodded ever so subtly in her direction “without each one of these pillars, your vital chi is diminished”
one by one, the student warriors unsheathed their swords and held them high as mulan lifted her own, she saw the inscription glittering in the sun her eyes read the words as, in front of them, tung said them aloud “brave!” he shouted
the soldiers, including mulan, echoed the word back to him
“loyal!” again, after the mander’s shout, the soldiers shouted back
a sense of dread began to build in mulan’s stomach as she saw the word that would be shouted next “true!” mander tung finished
around her, all the other soldiers yelled out the word, their voices full of emotion and pride but mulan stayed quiet how could she swear to be true when she was living a lie